Thursday, September 28, 2006

Routines or Ruts?

Lately I've been in a very "funky" mood. You all know the mood I'm talking about. When you wake up in the morning, you don't necessarily have anything to look forward to. Nothing's "wrong", you just don't have anything to excite you. I've been feeling this way recently. I mean, I do enjoy going to chapel here at the University, and sitting with my girlfriend, and hanging out with her during the day. I enjoy the guys that i live with and I love hanging out with them. But what I'm talking about is a lack of focus. So I've been feeling weird.
I was discussing with my girlfriend yesterday about the toils of college life. Most of which involved the difficulties in doing the same thing in the same place the same way for weeks or months (or even years) on end and keeping your sanity. I have been at school for 5 weeks now and I'm ready to leave. I can't do this anymore. It's not that I'm a terrible student, I'm not stupid, I just don't do well after doing something (with no breaks) for a very long time.
It got me thinking about what I was created for? What is my purpose? To glorify God? To worship Him? I guess. So then I fall into the cliche "Honor God with whatever you do, even the mundane routines of this world." That's not good enough. I need to know what that looks like, how can I glorify God with everything I do if I do the same thing all the time every day? I know I can, I'm not challenging that statement, it's an honest question...how?
It's raining outside right now which is a nice break. I guess it's the little things that can have a huge impact on how you view your routine. For example, my room mate and I plan on moving everyting around in our room and doing a major overhaul on the appearance of our living area. I can't wait, because it'll be something different for a while, i need that.
But now I think of a problem with this attitude of A.D.D. Do I do that with my relationship with God? Do I seek to have an intimate relationship with Him for a while, until it gets routine then move on to something else? I think i do. Wow. Lord, forgive me for making you my flavor-of-the-week.
So routine or rut? There are schedules in life, period. You and I can't change that, but what does your schedule look like. Is it filled to the max so that nothing can infiltrate it? Or does it leave room for spontenaity, fun, and maybe even a little imagination?
I'll end with a story. Yesterday Sarah and I went down to the park in an attempt to escape our schedule if even for a few hours. As we laid there on the blanket under a beautiful oak tree a little girl and her fatherly companion came up the path on the other side of the tree. The girl was running freely with no regard for anything. She came up and started talking to Sarah and told her that she was hunting ducks. Sarah got a bright glimmer in her eyes and ran over to the girl and went off with her into the brush by the water. They played with big sticks and their imagination for a few minutes before coming back the blanket so I could teach her to play the guitar. I sat the guitar on the girls lap and formed with chords while she strummed and made the music. She was so excited she wanted to show her fatherly-companion. So we walked over to where he had sat down with their husky and she showed him all the things she had learned on the guitar. She was discovering music, maybe for the first time. Maybe no one had ever played with her before. She asked if we'd be back tomorrow and we said that if she was, then we would be too. So she said she'd draw us a picture of a guitar. Sarah put her in her lap and put her hair up in a beautiful bun as i played the guitar. Her fatherly-companion told her that they had to leave so she got up and ran off just like she had when we met her. And for the rest of the day I forgot what it was I was doing in the first place.
Little kids have a way of dousing you with forgetfulness.
Imagination helps you wonder why you have a routine.
Music heals all the broken parts of childhood.
Cute little eyes ignite a passion for something more.
What does your schedule look like?

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