ugh, Titles Are So Hard

I'm starting over, I just wrote a long post but it was garbage so I deleted it. I'm going to be gut-level honest with this blog since most people I know won't read it. I'm afraid for the direction of our church. I'm afraid that we'll start growing and start becoming really effective in our community. "Why?" You might ask. Because I'm afraid that we are going to start getting on the bandwagon of how important it is to be united in prayer and make a viable impact on our community, and have nothing to do with people after they start showing up at our doorstep wanting to know more about the Gospel...I don't believe we are ready for that. I think we have shallow views of the Gospel, we have underdeveloped worldviews, and we have irrelevant theologies. What I see in Rean Meadows is exciting, just this week i saw half a dozen little things that I knew was the beginning of some change and I was pleased. I truly believe that in 5 years (dare someone think in terms of 5 years from now at Rean Meadows) we will be one of the premier churches in Kettering. Not to mean that we'll be the best. God forbid we ever think we're the best, or that we've arrived. What I really mean is fastest-growing, most networked (in terms of being linked to other churches/ministries), and most influential. I truly believe this. I know that God is going to do an amazing work in our church, it's only a matter of when. Ok, I could write forever about our church but what I'm more passionate about than our church is far greater than the church.
I wish I could say that I love to read the Bible, I wish that I just had this hunger to know everything there is know about the Bible; but I don't. Sure, I love studying the Bible but I love to use the verses as weapons at people. "abortion is wrong because Psalm 139..." "We should do 'in the treches' ministries because of II Timothy 1:7" and so on...shame on me. I use Scripture to prove my point about topic X. The Bible is living and active and I can't tame it; can't contain it. I guess all I'm saying is that I want a passion for the Scriptures out of a pure desire to see the face of God, not only His hand in my life. I don't have a real enough faith, bottom line.